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If you’ve ever seen an artist working on a portrait, you may have noticed that he or she pauses to squint. Squinting helps the artist capture the essence of their subject without getting distracted by its harsh outlines. We need to do the same in our dating life. It’s so easy to get lost in the hard assessment of people’s imperfections, and of our own. Squinting helps. Often, we hyper-focus on externals and miss the qualities that matter most. I’m not suggesting that you force yourself to date someone you’re not attracted to. But don’t lose sight of the whole person because you’re stuck on nagging external imperfections. Chances are, the person you will finally come to love will be younger, older, taller or shorter than the person you’re dreaming of. Innumerable opportunities for real love have been lost because daters didn’t know the wise skill of squinting. Important note: Squinting is for externals, not for important personality traits. (., Nasty to the waiter? Eyes wide open. Unfortunate sense of style? Squint.)

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